on tuesday of my golden week, i used my gocco for the first time in a while. my project was to finish a set of stationery for one of my favorite babies.
in the past couple of years, i've found it hard to set aside time for my own projects. part of it is due to becoming a parent, and part is due to having been in a new job. i have less free time to dream up ideas, and some days it can be hard to cordon off time for even basic tasks like folding laundry or cooking meals, let alone the focus for designing and executing a creative work. we often start the day hurrying to get everyone out of the house on time, and in the evening i fall into bed exhausted not long after max is asleep.
sure, there's a fragmented chunk of time here or there while my boys go out or when we have the help of grandparents or babysitters, but i find it hard to channel my energy during those specific moments. overall there is a bit less of the magic that i used to feel of just getting the desire to do something creative, being able to immediately act on that impulse, and to lose a sense of time and place in doing so.
i can look back and see that in my childless life, i expected a lot of myself, which i capably delivered. getting a lot done and doing it well were part of my identity, and it is taking some work to come to grips with not feeling that way so often anymore.
so this gocco project, the cards for the baby, had begun weeks prior, but stalled. having some relaxed, alone time removed enough obstacles for me to get back to it. and once my hands were dirtied in the project again, i came up with an idea for another screenprint. the challenge now will be to carve out the time for that project. it is clear anyway that part of my happiness requires honoring and prioritizing the joyful meditation that i experience when making things for no other reason but to make them.
for the subject of the print, i chose a classic children's toy - blocks. we've been playing a lot with the modern version lately - duplos - to build tunnels and garages for max's matchbox trucks. the structures are so mutable - you build something up, it tips over, you add another extension, you take it apart and make something else. before my golden week, i felt like my daily structure was more similar to a wall of bricks with hardened mortar. but blocks of time are really more like legos, aren't they? there may be other ways i can fit the same components together. it's time to start getting playful with this.